HOW TO DEAL WITH A FAMILY MEMBER’S MENTAL HEALTH
Rev Thomas Konopka LCSW-R
Many families will deal with a family member’s mental health issues by not saying anything. An organization like NAMI is a great resource. The hardest part will be a phone call. I wish I could say that in our world today the stigma of mental health issues has gone away. I think it is worse. Plus, resources are limited. Some recent statistics are:
- Percent of people in state prisons who have been diagnosed with a mental disorder:
- 43% +In locally-run jails: 44% +
- Percent of people in state prisons with chronic mental illness who have not had treatment since admission: 33%
- Percent of people in federal prisons who reported not receiving any mental health care while incarcerated: 66% +
- Percent of police shootings in 2015 that involved a mental health crisis: 27% +
- Portion of people jailed 3+ times within a year who report having a moderate or serious mental illness: 27%
downloaded from https://www.prisonpolicy.org/research/mental_health/ on 4/21/2026
How sad it is in our society that is supposedly progressive, that we hide many of those with mental health issues away. This only leads to the silence of the families and their inability to get help.
So, what can families do?
Find a place to safely talk with someone about how you are coping.
Go to your clergy. Find a therapist. Call NAMI.
Go to Al-Anon if alcohol is involved.
When I first started to become interested in the pastoral side of working with people with mental issues, I found an article in the National Catholic Reporter titled: When you are mentally ill, no one brings you a casserole October 15, 2009. In my experience, I am not sure much as changed. When my father died, the amount of food was overwhelming. But I am not sure if there is a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, the same would happen.
I think the best thing we can do for a family is to create an atmosphere of trust and a space where they can just talk. No one needs to solve it; we need to support. Also, we respect the fact that this is their story to tell, not ours. A greeting at Mass, a petition in the prayer of the faithful, the offer of a pastoral visit to the family member and offering to anoint them, etc. These simple actions speak volumes to a family that feels alone and isolated.
The bottom line is this: each family will have unique needs and experiences. We need to allow them to talk to us and we need to respond to what they need, not what we think they need. Maybe we just need to make a casserole……
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 for someone to talk to. This is a 24 hours/7 day of week hotline. If you feel unsafe or are having a mental health crisis, call 911 or go to your closest emergency room. You matter to someone who loves you.
