The Experience of Mental Health Issues
“Get over it” “Just be happy” “It is not that bad” “You are still grieving.” It has been six months since he/she died, the divorce ended, etc..” “Stop lying, there is no one there.” “I do not hear anything,” “Just sit still and listen to the teacher” “Just find a job and it will be ok” “The war is over, stop thinking about it.”
This is a very short list of what someone who deals with a mental health issue hears and probably some of what we have said to them. I wish it was that easy. I remember watching the movie, A Beautiful Mind” and was shocked when at the end, his two best friends in the movie were actually two of his hallucinations that were always there (Sorry for the spoiler). Many people will go through life and may never meet someone with a severe mental health issue. We all meet people who deal with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc. Many times, in our churches we often see some of the people who act out as scary or disruptive. But we often miss or ignore those who are suffering in silence. We might ask why they are sitting alone? Fear of rejection, stigma, unable to face it, fear of not being accepted.
We all need to switch places with another to try to understand their experiences. For a person who may have some delusions or hallucinations, this is his or her reality. The voices, the images, the sensations are as real to that person as things are to us. The paranoia that can exist, etc. is real. A person with bipolar disorder often enjoys the extreme high with its energy, lack of fear, but detests the paralyzing depression that follows. Someone who struggles with OCD (Obsessive compulsive Disorder) that is focused on sin will find relief by going to confession every day if possible. Even this ritual act will not give lasting relief to this anxiety disorder.
Depression is one we all have a caught a minor glimpse of. We use that term when we feel sad, tired, “out of it,” in grief, and when we have failed. For a person who slips into depression, take those feelings and multiply by a million. The brain chemistry, as in all mental health issues, is affected and changed. The lack of energy, a mood that is more numb than sad, the pervasive sense of doom, seeing no way out, nothing is fun, to not feel hungry or eat anything to fill emotionally full, numbing out the pain with alcohol, etc. are real.
If a person has not had any mental health issues, it will be impossible to fully grasp what another person is going through. Our first approach needs to be to listen and allow the other person to tell us what it is like for them. We do not need to fix; we need to support and encourage. We cannot cure or heal, but we can help another by maintaining good boundaries, setting limits, encouraging medicine compliance, etc. Sometimes, the best we can do is acknowledge that the person is there in front of us, has value, and can contribute something to the greater good.
Hopefully, these descriptions can give you a small glimpse into the world of someone who deals with any mental health issue. Our best way to help is to walk with someone else and see their value no matter how they act or seem.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 for someone to talk to. This is a 24 hours/7 day of week hotline. If you feel unsafe or are having a mental health crisis, call 911 or go to your closest emergency room. You matter to someone who loves you.
